9:06 p.m. - 2007-09-16
Obligations
I am going to be realistic here. I don't think that my mom's really leaving father dearest anytime soon. I mean, she's practically financially dependent on the guy, and that just can't change overnight. And it really sucks, because I am beyond sick and tired of having to deal with him.
I have never gone into depth about the shit he has pulled, but it's definitely enough for me to hate him for the rest of my life.
I'm just looking for a little bit of serenity in my life, and with him around, that is nearly impossible. I don't know how much more I could take of his yelling, screaming, and complaining. I have enough shit in my life to worry about to be having him down my throat every second. It's to the point where just seeing him and hearing his voice makes me ill. He doesn't even have to do anything wrong; his very presence sickens me.
Someday I will be able to finally escape the clutches of terror. I mean, I am already slowly but surely keeping my distance. I graduated high school, am attending college, got a job, got a car. Slowly but surely.
On another topic, I am really starting to realize how much I dislike my major. It's not that I don't like the profession itself, I think that occupational therapy is a great profession that helps people of all populations. Its just that i'm just not a health science person. My true love is in journalism and the arts. There is nothing in occupational therapy that can involve me in either. Its pretty much just either working with the older population, or with disabled children.
I was at the library about half an hour ago, looking for a research article that I need for occupational science class, and I was about ready to pull the hairs out of my scalp, I was that annoyed and fed up. It made me realize that occupational therapy really isn't for me, and if I had enough balls, I would ditch it as a major and go for journalism; but lets face it, this is the best I could do.
Just like my mom is obligated to stay with a man that she can't stand for financial purposes, I am obligated to stick with a major that isn't for me because it is what is most favorable in the job market.
Obligations suck.
