11:12 p.m. - 2007-10-26
Will be awhile (personal) Part 2
Life is a prison,
Oh God (if you're there) let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?
You can't.
I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more
Begone ye screams of silence, harbingers of pain
Cloaked in isolation, you mock in harsh disdain
My soul is torn asunder, I curse you, God of Hell
As you pierced my tortured soul, what horrors I befell.
You spoke of quiet solitude, to tempt me to your lair
Then lanced me in my troubled heart, to depths of dark despair
Nemesis, I beg of thee, rise up in righteous ire
Protect me from Tisiphone, from Hell's eternal fire
With all my voice I scream to you, protect me from the night
Alas, in forlorn desperation, I journey to the light
Banished to mind's Coventry, I heed the demon's call
Beckoned by the silent screams, I enter Dante's hall.
